Ever had a moment where the “right” answer depended entirely on who you asked - your boss or your team?
The Realization Every New Manager Eventually Hits...
Leading people means juggling two truths:
Your team members are humans with needs, motivations, and emotions.
Your organization still expects results, deadlines, and outcomes.
And somewhere between those two realities is the sweet spot every leader has to find.
A lot of new managers swing too hard in one direction:
🔹 Too people-focused:
Over-accommodating, avoiding conflict, carrying the emotional load, and shouldering extra work “to be supportive.”
🔹 Too results-focused:
Prioritizing deadlines over development, burning people out, or making decisions that create compliance instead of commitment.
Neither approach works on its own.
The real skill - the leadership skill - is learning to balance care with clarity, empathy with expectations, and support with standards.
The Common Mistake: Thinking You Have to Pick a Side
New managers often feel like they must choose:
“I want to be supportive, but we still have targets to hit.”
“I don’t want to be too soft… but I also don’t want to be a jerk.”
So they default to one of two patterns:
1. The Rescuer
Always stepping in to help
Absorbing stress to protect the team
Softening expectations
Letting issues slide to “keep the peace”
2. The Enforcer
Leading with rules
Pushing for outcomes without listening
Becoming rigid under pressure
Treating people problems as inconveniences
Both patterns come from the same place:
Not knowing how to balance people needs with business goals...yet.
The Shift From Either/Or → to Both/And Decision-Making
Growing leaders start asking questions like:
“How do I support them and keep us on track?”
“What does accountability look like with empathy?”
“How do I help them succeed without lowering the bar?”
Being a great leader is not about compromise - it’s about integration.
Here’s how that shows up:
1. Set expectations that are clear and human.
People do their best work when they know the target and feel supported hitting it.
2. Listen with empathy, respond with standards.
Acknowledging challenges isn’t the same as lowering the bar; it’s guiding someone to overcome them.
3. Make decisions that honor the individual and the team.
Fairness means considering impact on everyone, not just one person.
4. Keep the business needs visible.
Transparency builds trust. People work better when they understand the “why.”
5. Check in but don’t hover.
Supportive follow-up ensures momentum without micromanaging.
How to Practice the Balance in Real Time
Try these simple shifts:
Instead of:
“We just need to get this done.”
Try:
“Here’s what we need to deliver and why it matters. What support do you need to get there?”
Instead of:
“I know you’re struggling, but this is the job.”
Try:
“I hear what’s getting in the way.” Let’s talk through what’s needed and how we can move forward.”
Instead of:
“Just figure it out.”
Try:
“Let’s clarify expectations and the next step so you feel set up to succeed.”
Small language changes create big shifts in culture.
Why This Matters
When you balance people and performance:
You get stronger results
Your team becomes more confident and capable
Trust grows
Less drama, more ownership
Higher retention, less burnout
And you stop feeling like you’re choosing sides
Leaders who find this balance don’t just get work done; they build teams that get better over time.
That’s where real impact happens!
👉 Next up in Part 8: “Managing Up and Across.”
How to build credibility with senior leaders and cross-functional peers — and influence the system around you, not just the team in front of you.
