Becoming a leader for the first time sounds exciting - until you realize you’re suddenly being asked to stop doing the work that got you here.
It’s one of the most uncomfortable transitions in leadership: letting go of the doing.
You’ve built your reputation by being the go-to person - the one who could get things done, fix problems quickly, and make sure the details were right. But as soon as you step into a leadership role, the rules change. Now, your success isn’t about what you can accomplish, it’s about what your team can accomplish through your guidance.
That shift can feel like losing control.
The Trap: “It’s Faster If I Just Do It Myself”
You delegate a task, and within an hour your inbox is full of questions. “Where’s the template?” “Who do I copy on this?” “Can you review this before I send it?”
By the end of the day, you’ve answered a dozen questions, re-explained the process twice, and quietly decided it would’ve been easier to just do it yourself. So, you take it back because it feels more efficient.
Except it isn’t.
Every time you step in to fix or rescue, you send an unspoken message: I don’t trust you to handle this. And your team learns that if they wait long enough, you’ll do it for them.
The Leadership Lesson: Teaching Takes Time
Yes, teaching someone else takes longer. They’ll have questions. They’ll make mistakes. You’ll have to review, coach, and repeat.
But every time you stop to explain, demonstrate, or review, you’re building capability. You’re buying back your future time in exchange for a little present-moment patience.
The short-term pain delivers long-term gain.
Eventually, that same person who asked a dozen questions will start anticipating your needs, solving problems, and mentoring others. That’s when you feel the real payoff.
So, How Do You Start Letting Go (Without Losing Your Mind)?
Choose your moment. Start with one low-risk recurring task you can hand off.
Be clear on the “why” and “what.” Define what success looks like and why it matters. Let them figure out the “how.”
Expect questions. Anticipate where they’ll need clarity, and treat their questions as part of the process, not a burden.
Coach, don’t correct. When things go sideways, resist the urge to take over. Guide them toward a better approach next time.
Celebrate progress, not perfection. Small wins build confidence for both of you.
Letting go isn’t losing control. It’s learning to trust others with responsibility. It’s the first real test of leadership, and it’s what separates managers who burn out from leaders who build capable teams.
This is Part 1 of my Peer to Leader series - exploring the real lessons (and pitfalls) of becoming a new manager. Follow along as I share a few lessons I wish someone had told me sooner. Subscribe now to stay tuned for all 10 parts of the Peer to Leader series.
👉 Next up in Part 2: “Leading Former Peers.”
Because once you’ve started to let go of the work, you face an even trickier challenge - leading the very people who used to be your teammates.
